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Our friends with a woman, who has faced and conquered many challenges, and I respect her for that. But, she has been constantly blindsided by people. Her spouse ended their marriage, which came as a massive blow. Several of her social circle drifted away during that time, since they had been focused solely on the spouse. She was stunned by her. She put in more effort in our friendship, probably understood more acutely the essence of true friendship.

The Pattern of Disappearance

In the time since, many of her friends have drifted apart without her being sure why. Her previous job turned on her, although she was very skilled at her work, and she left without knowing the reason for the change.

Current Dynamics

Recently, we've both left the workforce and are seeing each other more, yet I realize the part I play between us is to listen. I open discussion points but she shifts them to things she cares about. Politically, she holds unyielding views. I attempt to recommend factchecking and different perspectives.

She has been organizing a trip to a country I know well on several occasions even called home for some time. I attempted to share personal experiences, yet it was unappreciated. She really only wanted my agreement with her choices. I've just returned from a month there she hopes to reconnect, however, I hesitate.

Weighing the Options

I am unwilling to be a friend that walks away without explanation, however, I feel she'll truly understand the consequences of her behaviour on how I feel about myself. At this point, I find myself in distancing myself. What should I do?

Ways Forward

It's possible to end things abruptly, but it is rarely the peaceful resolution we imagine. However, addressing it with the goal of resolution requires bravery and openness for each of you.

Professional advice indicates trying a effective method for resolving disputes:

"Initially requires explaining how things go in your conversations. This needs to be objective and clear like what a recording device would replay. Step two is to express how this affects you emotionally. This allows for no disagreement here. What you feel belong to you, after all. Finally is to ask ways you together can shift the pattern between you."

Keep in mind she too holds perspectives, meaning you must to remain ready to listen to her. A helpful technique involves stating her:

"It's your turn to speak while I will remain silent for 30 minutes."

This can be successful for promoting mutual respect.

Final Thoughts

This person could ignore all you say, since certain individuals cling to a “survival narrative”: they maintain a version of their life they're unable to let go of since their identity depends upon it and it's all familiar to them. It's tough when there seems no clear path here, only cul-de-sacs. Yet she could initially present defensively before reflecting on your words. And should you don't achieve an agreement, it provides satisfaction from having been open and direct.